My Time, Your Time, and Our Time

Day 12

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According to Deepak Chopra, we all have our own rhythm. We can’t and shouldn’t expect others to be in our rhythm. The ego tells us “our time is better” but we do need to respect each other’s styles. And when we come together those differences go away and the attention needs to be on “us”, not “me.”

In my notebook I have a three things listed under My Time:

Sketching
Reading
Meditating

We all know what happen with sketching! (see previous post) My intentions were good. I tried it and it didn’t stick. That’s ok. If I was to do this exercise today I would replace sketching with yoga or journaling.

Reading is a mainstay in my life and a BIG priority. It gets A LOT of my free time because I get so much happiness from reading and everything to do with reading. Like, browsing the library, reading book reviews, going to author talks and signings, going to books stores, talking to others about books.. it goes on and on.

And the last area I wrote in my notebook to under My Time was meditation. Another non-negotiable. I make sure I have my meditation time early in the morning when no one else is awake and there are no distractions. It’s by far my favorite part of my day. I know I’m doing so much good for myself. Changing those pathways in my brain!!!

For Your Time, I couldn’t choose what my husband does with his free time, I just know that he needs to choose that for himself. Most of the time he will choose golf. He enjoys it because he’s in outdoors in nature, walking, and playing a sport he loves. If not golfing, the other activity he chooses for his free time is running. As long as he has his time to do his thing, all is good.

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Then there is Our Time. I’ve talked about this before too, but our dates mostly consist of seeing concerts and other musical events. We are BIG music people. I didn’t realize how big until recently. I thought, “doesn’t everyone want to go to as many concerts as possible?!” No, they don’t, actually. Ha! Well, these are our dates most of the time. He enjoys eating out way more than I do. When restaurants catch up to what healthy eating consists of, I’ll venture out again. There are a few places doing it right, but not many. I like knowing what’s in my food these days.

Do you have scheduled time to yourself? Try the following:

Make a list of three or four things you want to do with YOUR time.

If you are in a relationship, what are the things you could or want to do with OUR time?

I would love to hear your comments! Thanks for being here!


Say Yes to Life!

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Today focuses on playful manifestation. Deepak talks about “saying yes”, which is one of my happiness goals that I wrote about earlier. Here I got a much better understanding of why this is so important.

According to Deepak, “To be carefree is to trust the universe to take care of everything.” For an Upholder like me this seems to be an impossible task. I like controlling situations. Being “carefree” was not in my vocabulary. To be honest, I spent my whole life up to this point doing the exact opposite. Never in the flow, always worrying and trying to control outcomes. Desperate and uptight = disappointment. There’s a slogan for your fridge! And a good reminder!

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Deepak says when we let go of resistance to life it amplifies the law of attraction. I find this to be true. Letting go is a constant struggle for me, although I am MUCH improved. For example, as I write this my 19 year old son is planning his 4 month study abroad trip to Prague. The old me would be literally SICK with worry. All of the horrific scenarios worked up and spinning through my head on a daily basis. I would have been losing sleep, researching the area intently and constantly “talking” it over with my husband. I have done NONE of that. I’m trusting that things will be just fine. Because, if I was to apply my ABCDE strategies here, I would come to the conclusion that the facts would be on my side and I didn’t have much to worry about. That being said, as we get closer, I will have a talk with him about safety and we will be sure he has everything he needs. And then I will let go! Life is so much better this way. Both physically and mentally!

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Are you someone who is naturally carefree? Do you aspire to be so? Try saying yes to whatever comes your way and see how your life opens up and the law of attraction starts working. Try letting go of controlling outcomes and situations. Let me know how it goes! Thanks for being here!


Flow

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Day 10 and 11

“Everything is as it should be.” According to Deepak Chopra the lessons of Day 10 and 11 were to show that our awareness is flexible and adaptable. I’ve touched on this before, but let’s be clear, I liked controlling situations. Actually, I thought I needed to control situations. The source of so much of my stress and anxiety was me just festering over “what’s going to happen”. Will my kids get on that team? In the “right” class? get picked in the audition? etc. Letting go of a particular outcome was difficult for me to say the least. I’m learning to go with the flow and have come so, so far. I know now that whatever the outcome is, that is meant to be. And if I don’t get what I want, it’s because something better is on it’s way. I’ve seen this happen over and over again in my life. Every time something I love comes to an end, be it a class, an instructor changes when they are teaching, or a particular thing I’m doing becomes too expensive to continue, whatever it is, the outcome of that is ALWAYS better than the original thing I was doing. It’s like the universe is FORCING me to change. Because those were choices I wouldn’t have made on my own. Things I was so disappointed about changing turned out some of the best things in my life. And they all have come to me as a result of those forced changes.

My biggest regret is that I did not learn this sooner, especially when my kids were younger. All the time and stress and yelling about things that really weren’t important. Who cares if it takes 10 minutes for my kids to put on their shoes? I really wish I would have chilled out. I will be the best grandma EVER to make up for all the frustration and anger that my kids endured with me. Live and learn.

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Deepak explains that there are three elements to master for flow. First is flexible consciousness, which is to receive with an open mind. Be open and nonjudgmental. And don’t resist. (DON’T RESIST! I should really have that hung on a wall in my house on put on my refrigerator so I see it everyday!) Second, go with the flow to arrive at full manifestation. Going with the flow requires practice. Which I am constantly working on. And third, remain centered. Which comes with meditation practice.

Even in meditation if I let thoughts take over, which I have, completely losing the mantra, I learned that eventually going back to the mantra means our attention is flexible. It’s a good lesson. I’m not striving for perfection, I’m a work in progress. Because I know the more self growth that is happening in my life and happier and more productive my life becomes. It’s incredible to watch.

How about you? Are you feeling life you are living in the flow? Take some time this week to focus your awareness and see if you are being rigid for a particular outcome to happen in your life. What would happen if you started to no resist? And had a more open mind about the outcome of the situation?

I can’t wait to hear your comments! Thanks for being here!


The Law of Attraction

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Day 6

“What you dwell on is what you receive” according to Deepak Chopra. It was clear to me if I continued to sit around dwelling on how much pain I was in and how I couldn’t do the things I used to do, I was just going to attract more of the same. Deepak says our power comes from our attention. This is so true. What we pay attention to does indeed grow. He explains that desire needs nourishment in the following ways:

  • Have a clear intention (no excuses)
  • Have positive emotions
  • Believe it will be beneficial for you
  • Prepare for any response. Be flexible.
  • Confident aid will come from the universe
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Having a clear intention daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.. however you want to do it is a gamechanger. It’s a complete mind shift. This is why a lot of yoga classes start with setting an intention. It’s a reminder for when you start thinking about other things. Just like a meditation and coming back to the breath, but in this case it’s coming back to the intention. When we choose an intention we are choosing to manifest something, on our mat, or in our life. Having intention is been so helpful for me. Needless to say, in my former life I did the opposite of having intention. I just was free wheeling and let the chips fall where they may. I don’t recommend that way of living!

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Having positive emotions and believing it to be beneficial falls back to my work on my ABCDE strategies. (See previous posts) My former self would be in a negative mind set. This is our human default. We have a negative bias as protection. You must learn to counteract this with positive feelings and emotions.

But, what I needed to work on most was to “prepare for any response.” Like I said, I was one who loved to control outcomes. But you really can’t control outcomes. All you can control is your reaction to the outcome. I’d been screwing that part up all my life. No longer. I’m so self aware that I have learned how to be more in the flow. I even bought an intention bracelet with the word “flow” engraved on it as a constant daily reminder! It’s that important to me that I correct this behavior!

If you would like to focus your intentions to attract the things you want in your life, try the steps above to start changing what you dwell on and where you give your attention.

I would love to hear your comments! Thank you for being here!


I am

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Day 14

Stream of Consciousness with the prompt “I am.”


I am:

A mother, a wife, a daughter. A reader, an activist. I’m a health coach, a library aide. I’m caring. I’m a seeker. A music lover. A patron of the arts. History lover. Admirer of Gretchen Rubin, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Mark Hyman, Freddie Mercury, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Oprah. I am an animal lover. I am pretty, strong and smart. I’m a doer. I have a lot to give and get out. I feel something big. Don’t know what yet. I am a writer. I am an author of books. I am an influencer.

The goal was to just write and let if all flow.

It’s funny what comes out when you are prompted this way. If I was to do it on my own, in my own time, the list would be much longer. I shocked at the amount of things I left out as I am definitely more than this. But I think it’s revealing that this is what came out first. On that particular day. At that particular time. It’s funny to see Gretchen Rubin and Oprah lumped in with Mick, Keith and Freddie! But that’s just where my brain was at the moment. It’s like a little poem of me.

I did feel something in me that needed to get out and it’s this blog. One day I just felt the need to get it out of my body. That’s where the “I have a lot to give and get out” comes from. It’s here and I need to get it out to the world. And I’ve talked about this before, but that wasn’t something I ever wanted to do even a few months prior. I was absolutely cringe when someone would talk about how far I’d come. Whether it was my doctor or a family member. They would start with “remember when you…” and my body would just shut down. I couldn’t and wouldn’t hear it. It was like reliving my pain. And one day that just left me and it was replaced with this sudden need to talk about it all the time and get my story out to the world. Unexplainable to me.

Try it! Share your “I am” free flow in the comments! Thanks for being here!


Lessons Learned

Day 19-21

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As I came to the end of my first 21 Day Meditation Experience with Deepak Chopra, a few things became crystal clear. For one, Transcendental Meditation was amazing and most definitely my favorite form I had found to date. During those twenty minutes the anxiety and worries melted away. Mantra meditation was for me. Occasionally, depending on the day, I would feel “out of my body” during my meditation. It sounds very woo-woo, but it’s the best way I can describe the overwhelming calm that came over me. I still do other forms of meditation, but TM will always be my go-to.

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There was a lot of self-discovery going on during these two weeks. The journaling forced me to look at myself and the way I thinking and behaving in life and asked to make changes. Or, as I would look at myself I could see what I needed to add into my life. Some of my journaling took the form of life goals, some were immediate changes and others lead me down the right path for future endeavors.

The most important thing I learned was to focus on staying present. I didn’t realize how much I was lost in the future or the past. Churning up worries that weren’t even real. Putting my body and mind through stress that was not needed and only would cause a fight or flight situation in my brain and body. Which in turn, would cause symptoms I would worry about. It’s a vicious cycle.

This was not the end of my meditation experiences with Deepak Chopra. I went on to do additional programs and every time I learned more and more about myself. I could see overlaps with other self growth programs and goals I had for myself and the journaling I had done in these experiences. I will write about those later because I had some real AHA moments that made a huge change in the path I pursued.

Have you considered meditation? Try the following.

Download one of the many meditation apps. Some popular ones are Insight Time, Calm, Headspace and 10% Happier. I use Insight Timer, which is free.

Find a meditation type that works for you. You could try Transcendental, Body Scans, Gratitude, Sleep, etc. There are many, many choices. You could also not do any guided meditation and choose just to have music or nature sounds as your background sound. I suggest that if you are brand new to meditating you try a few short, guided meditations first.

I would love to hear your feedback! Please comment below! Thank you for being he


Time is Your Creation

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The next few days of my Meditation Experience was focused on our beliefs about time and being in the “flow” of life. Being in the flow was NOT something I did. Ever. I was always projecting into the future, good or bad. I wanted to control the future as much as possible. But really, you cannot control the future. I needed to learn how to accept how my life was going. This doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t go after what I want and make changes, it just meant I needed to learn how to be in the flow and not fight it.

I also needed to learn how to be open and aware. Deepak says we should “Renew and refresh with meditation.” And not only meditation, but using our time more creatively in ways that will give us a little boost or refresh. So, I made a little list of ways I would use my time creatively and give myself a little refreshing in small ways.

Dress with more fun in mind
Meditate
Exercise class
Learn to sketch

Dressing with more fun in mind was an easy way to give myself a boost! I have always LOVED clothes. I love shopping my own closet and putting together outfits. But now I wanted to change things up a little. I started wearing more mixed prints, I bought brighter colors, I MIXED brighter colors and bought a pair of leopard print shoes! I started getting a few more compliments, so I kept it up. It’s fun, it’s a happiness boost and it’s easy to do. Win, win, win. Second was meditate. That’s a standard that is always there. Third, exercise class. This wasn’t new either, but it made sense to have it there because it was an extremely refreshening way to use my time. And lastly, learn to sketch. For years I wanted to learn to sketch. Mostly because I wanted to sketch the birds I saw at my feeders, but also just because it sounded fun. I bought a simple sketching instruction book and all the supplies I needed. I was so excited! I’m learning something new and being crafty!! I started off strong, but after a month or so I lost interest. I just didn’t have the passion and wasn’t enjoying it. I decided to let this one go. I still would like to learn how to sketch birds. I think that’s what I really wanted to do after all. Not learn how to sketch everything. What I want to do is very specific. A goal for a future date!

In addition to what I wanted to do with my time, I also wrote one thing I wanted to stop using my time for and that was negative friends. Friends with a negative energy bring me down considerably. I’m so hyper aware of everyone’s energy now. I have done so much work to keep myself in the most positive environment possible that when a negative presence arrives I immediately want to get away. There are people that we’re in my life that I had to let go because of their negativity. I just can’t and don’t want to surround myself with that energy anymore. It’s tougher with family, but I heard a little tip one day that you should create an invisible force field around yourself so none of their energy gets to you. I love that visualization. It’s not easy, but it’s one I can practice all the time. No matter whether I’m at work, with family or at an event. I can’t control others, I can only control my response. I refuse to let someone else’s negativity ruin my state of mind anymore!

Are you in control of your time? Are you using your time to refresh? Try the following:

Make a list of 3 or 4 ways you would like to use your time to give yourself a happiness boost or refresh.

List any ways your time is being taken for non productive or negativity.

Follow through to make those changes in your life!

Can’t wait to hear about what changes you made! Thanks for being here!


Past Hurts

Day 8

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Today goes a little deeper into last week’s thoughts on old regrets. I said that I didn’t tend to do this as much as the other two, and that is true, but when I DID let my brain wander this way, it was not good. Deepak says “Old wounds get a new life when we think of hard times in the past.” I experienced this when thinking of painful traumatic events from my childhood. I had some not so great years growing up. Sometimes these memories creep up at the most unexpected times. When they did I was literally reliving them and I would get nauseous and get an uncomfortable feeling in my body that is hard to describe. This also happened when I would think about the occasions in my teenage years, some very death defying, scary times, and suddenly my body is reacting. It’s an odd feeling if you’ve never experienced it. According to Deepak these experiences can be healed by being in the present moment.

Broken relationships was another area of reliving old hurts the would come back and haunt me occasionally. Something would trigger a memory and suddenly I’m back in that place reliving an old hurt. Sometimes they feel like they just happened even though it happen over 30 years ago!
And of course the old hurt that was the most recent and most devastating was the injury itself. I wrote the following in my notebook:

Drug reaction/physical pain/missed years

There was a lot of sadness and anger in those words. So much time lost with my kids, family and friends. And time lost from doing all the things I loved. I could not, and would not dwell on this old hurt. I know now, I can write about it and tell my story without being there.

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These experiences all had lessons to teach me. In the case of my injuries, I had to learn it twice. If you read My Story, you know that I had TWO episodes that took me out of commission for extended times. It was like I didn’t learn it well enough the first time around so the universe said “let’s try this again!” I got it now, I promise. Because after the first time, I realized it was a half ass recovery really. I was physically a little better, and I learned a little about being appreciative of life, but not the total transformation that happen the second time. There were more lessons to be learned. I can see that now.

I would love to hear your comments! And don’t forgot to subscribe to my blog! Thanks for being here!


Meditation

Day 5

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Deepak says “All renewal occurs in the now.” At this point I had learned how important is it to stay present. And that meditation is a form of healing, just as sleep is. The focus for me now was to make it a priority in my life.

The science behind meditation is so clear. The repetitive nature of meditating actually changes the pathways in your brain. Which in turn creates a healthier you! To read more click here. http:// https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/transcendental-meditation#1

My take away here was a reinforcement of what I already knew. Mediation HAD to be a priority. It’s non negotiable. I have seen such changes in my behavior since I started my practice. Things that would send me off, stress me out or make me angry just don’t anymore. I even surprise myself!! I certainly had a moment at my daughter’s dance competition a year or so ago that would have the old me ranting and raving, angry and yelling. But I didn’t. I remember thinking, it will all be fine. I knew it would work out. But would it? The truth was I just wasn’t worried or stressed about the outcome. I was in the flow and completely calm. This startled my mom who was with me. She said she couldn’t believe how calm I was! Because if anyone has seen the old me in all my glory, it’s my mom! The calmness and the retraining of my brain that happens in mediation had carried over into my everyday life. It’s a wonderful thing!

Do you have a mediation practice? Are you seeing results in your everyday life? Again I will suggest picking up a mediation practice if you haven’t already done so!

Download a meditation app such as Insight Timer, Headspace or Calm.

Create a habit of meditating daily for 1 minute to start and build from there.

Please comment below! Thanks for being here!