The Law of Attraction

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Day 6

“What you dwell on is what you receive” according to Deepak Chopra. It was clear to me if I continued to sit around dwelling on how much pain I was in and how I couldn’t do the things I used to do, I was just going to attract more of the same. Deepak says our power comes from our attention. This is so true. What we pay attention to does indeed grow. He explains that desire needs nourishment in the following ways:

  • Have a clear intention (no excuses)
  • Have positive emotions
  • Believe it will be beneficial for you
  • Prepare for any response. Be flexible.
  • Confident aid will come from the universe
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Having a clear intention daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.. however you want to do it is a gamechanger. It’s a complete mind shift. This is why a lot of yoga classes start with setting an intention. It’s a reminder for when you start thinking about other things. Just like a meditation and coming back to the breath, but in this case it’s coming back to the intention. When we choose an intention we are choosing to manifest something, on our mat, or in our life. Having intention is been so helpful for me. Needless to say, in my former life I did the opposite of having intention. I just was free wheeling and let the chips fall where they may. I don’t recommend that way of living!

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Having positive emotions and believing it to be beneficial falls back to my work on my ABCDE strategies. (See previous posts) My former self would be in a negative mind set. This is our human default. We have a negative bias as protection. You must learn to counteract this with positive feelings and emotions.

But, what I needed to work on most was to “prepare for any response.” Like I said, I was one who loved to control outcomes. But you really can’t control outcomes. All you can control is your reaction to the outcome. I’d been screwing that part up all my life. No longer. I’m so self aware that I have learned how to be more in the flow. I even bought an intention bracelet with the word “flow” engraved on it as a constant daily reminder! It’s that important to me that I correct this behavior!

If you would like to focus your intentions to attract the things you want in your life, try the steps above to start changing what you dwell on and where you give your attention.

I would love to hear your comments! Thank you for being here!


Wellness Wheel

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Somewhere along my journey I ran across the Wellness Wheel. Have you ever seen or worked with one? You can find it here. https://www.unh.edu/health/well/wellness This wheel really sums up what I was trying to do in my life and in a way, is all of Health Coaching in one place. It basically took all the areas I was working (and still working) and put them in another format for me to see. Which is helpful because I added to my goals by completing this little project.

The categories of the wheel are the following:

Emotional
Environmental
Financial
Intellectual
Occupational
Physical
Social
Spiritual

It also helped me focus on areas that I wanted to bring into my life like, Environmental, but had no real goals yet on how to do that. Similar to a vision board but much more detailed and more focused on each area of your life. If you are a listener to The Sheri and Nancy Show podcast, you know they focus on these areas by calling them “pillars”. That works too! And they retitled some of them, but in the end it’s the same idea. I love it. I love anything that gives structure to my goals.

My notes in each category are as follows:

Financial
Create a budget
Pay off all debt

Emotional
Become and optimist (ABCDE strategies)
Refute and dispute my own beliefs
Become skilled at generating alternatives
Problem solve

Environmental
Recycle
Get involved with Plastic Pollution movement
Volunteer

Intellectual
Goodreads Reading Challenge
Read every day
Audiobooks
Learn a craft
Take a class

Occupational
Find a job with purpose and meaning

Physical
Strength classes
Massage and physical therapy
Try walking, computer, different shoes

Social
Say yes to all invitations
Book club
See parents often
Make lunch dates
Visit family
Connect with positive people. Keep negativity out.

Spiritual
Meditate daily
Gratitude journal
Get outside
Nature events
Gardening
No multitasking

This was just the beginning of what I truly achieved when I started focusing on all these areas. The key was to break them down into little steps and get those actions ON MY CALENDAR! I would block out time to work on all of them. I LOVE a full calendar. It means I’m working towards everything I want to achieve.

If you would like to try using the Wellness Wheel click the link above to get started! I’d love to hear your feedback! Thanks for being here!


I Just Have Jet Lag

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Day 3/4

Here’s something that I know to be true. When you want something to happen in your life, instead of worry and anxiety taking over, you let it go. Deepak says when you become detached, you become open to whatever happens. This was a big lesson for me. I liked to CONTROL everything that happen to me as much as possible. This way of living causes so much stress and we all know what stress does to the body. I can see how much more I’m in the flow now. But, even before I learned this lesson, there was a time in my life where this was working in my life and was crystal clear.

When my husband and I decided to start a family we thought once I went off the pill, I would immediately get pregnant. Isn’t that why I took the pill for so long? Because it’s so easy to get pregnant! Well, that was not the case for us. Month after month, nothing. My ob/gyn had me charting and taking my temperature and was taking medication all to help the process along. But, after a certain amount of time, she sat us down and told us she’s done all she could and was referring us to a fertility specialist. I was shocked. Why couldn’t I get pregnant? We moved forward and made an appointment with the specialist. In the meantime, I decided to “let it go”. I could not let it consume me. Shortly before our scheduled appointment, my husband and I took a trip to Colorado for a family reunion. When we got back and I went back to work, I remember being tired. Really tired. I was actually fighting to keep my eyes open on the way home from work at five in the afternoon. I thought, “wow, this is some serious jet lag I have!” On day two of feeling this way, I mentioned to my girlfriend at work how I was feeling. She knew my fertility issues and said “maybe you’re pregnant.” Honestly, I did not even consider this to be a possibility. But, I had still been taking my medication and doing all my tracking, so that day on the way home from work, I bought a pregnancy test. My husband was home, chatting on the phone with his brother while I slipped away to take the test. And there it was. I was pregnant!! I didn’t even wait for my husband to hang up the phone! I just yelled out “I’m pregnant!”

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I truly believe the act of letting go helped tremendously in me getting pregnant. I left it up to the universe and the universe responded. Once the worry and control were gone, things happened the way they were supposed to.

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you let go? What was the outcome? I’d love to hear about it! Please comment below! Thank you for being here!


I am

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Day 14

Stream of Consciousness with the prompt “I am.”


I am:

A mother, a wife, a daughter. A reader, an activist. I’m a health coach, a library aide. I’m caring. I’m a seeker. A music lover. A patron of the arts. History lover. Admirer of Gretchen Rubin, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Mark Hyman, Freddie Mercury, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Oprah. I am an animal lover. I am pretty, strong and smart. I’m a doer. I have a lot to give and get out. I feel something big. Don’t know what yet. I am a writer. I am an author of books. I am an influencer.

The goal was to just write and let if all flow.

It’s funny what comes out when you are prompted this way. If I was to do it on my own, in my own time, the list would be much longer. I shocked at the amount of things I left out as I am definitely more than this. But I think it’s revealing that this is what came out first. On that particular day. At that particular time. It’s funny to see Gretchen Rubin and Oprah lumped in with Mick, Keith and Freddie! But that’s just where my brain was at the moment. It’s like a little poem of me.

I did feel something in me that needed to get out and it’s this blog. One day I just felt the need to get it out of my body. That’s where the “I have a lot to give and get out” comes from. It’s here and I need to get it out to the world. And I’ve talked about this before, but that wasn’t something I ever wanted to do even a few months prior. I was absolutely cringe when someone would talk about how far I’d come. Whether it was my doctor or a family member. They would start with “remember when you…” and my body would just shut down. I couldn’t and wouldn’t hear it. It was like reliving my pain. And one day that just left me and it was replaced with this sudden need to talk about it all the time and get my story out to the world. Unexplainable to me.

Try it! Share your “I am” free flow in the comments! Thanks for being here!


A New Chapter

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After completing my second Happiness Project, I spent some time listening to Mel Robbins. Mel Robbins is a motivational speaker, who recently started her own talk show. When I found her, she was being interviewed on one of my favorite podcasts. A lot of what she says resonates with me and put some things about my life into perspective.

When I thought about what I wanted my life to look like two or three years ahead as she suggests, I saw the following:

Pursue a job that had meaning and purpose

Surround myself with positive, uplifting friends

Be active without pain

Be free of money worries

Become an activist

Substantially increase my reading

Become mindful and optimistic

These were BIG picture goals. If I’ve learned nothing else it’s that ACTION is key to every single change you want to make in your life. Period. The end. You can put up slogans and quotes all day but there is NO MEANING behind them without the work. I see the difference. I would read quotes like “be yourself”. And think “that’s nice, yes, be yourself”. But now it screams at me! Be authentic! Fill your life with what makes you happy! When you are actually feeling the affects of taking action, something like “be yourself” becomes extremely powerful and a huge motivator. These were my new eyes looking at the world.

Mel also talks about using our problems to not take responsibility. Whoa. Guilty, guilty, guilty. I could just hear all the “I can’t’s” coming out of my mouth over the years. She suggests naming the old chapter in your life and then naming your new chapter in your life. So, I decided my old chapter would be called “Fearful, Self-Centered Mona” and my new chapter would be called “Giving, Loving, Brave Mona”. That pretty much sums it up nicely! And a really CLEAR way to see how I was behaving and how I wanted to live going forward.

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I had decided to live in a “growth mindset” from now on. I had a past full of bad experiences that brought me to where I was and in a lot of ways I’m thankful for all the trauma I’d been through recently, because if I hadn’t gone through this I would not have tackled all these other areas in my life. Even if I had resolved my pain issue, I still would have been eating all the wrong foods, drinking, living stressed out, throwing money away, etc. My “why” was abundantly clear. I would have continued with things happening to me, instead of taking control. Mel explains that our mindset is fixed in childhood. I’ve already talked about some of the issues of my childhood and the remnants left on me, but here she wakes me up to the fact that I could be repeating negative self talk all the way back to childhood. Looking back on how much I survived, it’s possible there’s a little post traumatic stress disorder there. I never thought about these episodes carrying over to my adult life, but they certainly do. How many adults are part of the walking wounded? Without any resolution? A lot of us is my guess.

If you want to learn more about Mel Robbins you can find her at http://melrobbins.com. Do you have a name for an old chapter of your life? How about your new chapter? Share them below! And thanks for being here!


Lessons Learned

Day 19-21

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As I came to the end of my first 21 Day Meditation Experience with Deepak Chopra, a few things became crystal clear. For one, Transcendental Meditation was amazing and most definitely my favorite form I had found to date. During those twenty minutes the anxiety and worries melted away. Mantra meditation was for me. Occasionally, depending on the day, I would feel “out of my body” during my meditation. It sounds very woo-woo, but it’s the best way I can describe the overwhelming calm that came over me. I still do other forms of meditation, but TM will always be my go-to.

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There was a lot of self-discovery going on during these two weeks. The journaling forced me to look at myself and the way I thinking and behaving in life and asked to make changes. Or, as I would look at myself I could see what I needed to add into my life. Some of my journaling took the form of life goals, some were immediate changes and others lead me down the right path for future endeavors.

The most important thing I learned was to focus on staying present. I didn’t realize how much I was lost in the future or the past. Churning up worries that weren’t even real. Putting my body and mind through stress that was not needed and only would cause a fight or flight situation in my brain and body. Which in turn, would cause symptoms I would worry about. It’s a vicious cycle.

This was not the end of my meditation experiences with Deepak Chopra. I went on to do additional programs and every time I learned more and more about myself. I could see overlaps with other self growth programs and goals I had for myself and the journaling I had done in these experiences. I will write about those later because I had some real AHA moments that made a huge change in the path I pursued.

Have you considered meditation? Try the following.

Download one of the many meditation apps. Some popular ones are Insight Time, Calm, Headspace and 10% Happier. I use Insight Timer, which is free.

Find a meditation type that works for you. You could try Transcendental, Body Scans, Gratitude, Sleep, etc. There are many, many choices. You could also not do any guided meditation and choose just to have music or nature sounds as your background sound. I suggest that if you are brand new to meditating you try a few short, guided meditations first.

I would love to hear your feedback! Please comment below! Thank you for being he


Seasons of Life

Day 13

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Happy Days = Happy Life. So simple, but so true. Increasing my every day happiness had become a goal along with everything else I was doing. It also seemed to just happen naturally when I started focusing on the things that would help me grow and heal. Like Gretchen Rubin says, I was “living in an atmosphere of growth.”

Deepak asked what three things I was doing in my life that made me happy. That was easy:

1 Meditation
2 Exercise
3 Reading

My mainstays. I’ve talked about them before. So, what was making me unhappy and stuck in the past (besides the obvious pain issue)? And for me that was worrying about what other people think. And when I say other people, I mean former “friends” who I considered friends, but turns out were not. I had recently made a big change in my life by removing my daughter from an activity and enrolling her elsewhere. This may sound like a small thing, but she had been spending over 20 hours a week with with the same friends and teachers for over 10 years. And that means I became friends with many of the moms as we watched our children grow over the years. When we left, I assumed I would stay friends with most of them, but that was not the case. Turns out when you make a change that is good for you or your family, not everyone is along for the ride. A major change makes people look at themselves. And then can get judgy. For example, sometimes when I tell someone I eat a Paleo diet, they start telling me all the reasons why they could never do that. I certainly didn’t ask. They just are feeling judged by my changes. This unhappiness due to the changes I made didn’t last. I was upset for a time, but now I’ve moved on and realized I have my tribe and I’m all the better for it. Those were not my people. I will say two of these friends stuck with me and we still see each other often. So, after the fallout I was left with the right people and that’s the way it should be.

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Next I was to look forward to the next 5-10 years at what changes that will be made in my life and some positive outcomes of those changes. Here’s what I wrote:

1 Being empty-nesters (good and sad)
2 Downsizing
3 Volunteering more

The idea of being empty nesters is both thrilling and devastating. On the plus side, we will be done paying for college, I will have more time for all the things I enjoy, I won’t be locked into the “school schedule” when making plans, among other things. Then, there is the obvious sadness that comes when your kids leave. Every time my son comes home from college on break and then leaves I am sad all over again. I’m so proud of him and excited for his future, but I can’t help getting teary eyed when I see a little boy and his mom in the library or at the store. It brings back all those memories of me and my son when he was little.

Downsizing! This is something to get excited about. I can’t wait to downsize our home! I’m so looking forward to a cozy space, not the oversized house we have now. Don’t get me wrong, our house is beautiful and for a time it was functional (although excessive). But this house no longer serves our needs. I’m already giddy about having a smaller mortgage or NO mortgage to speak of. It will be life changing and I can’t wait!

And the third positive outcome I see is the ability to volunteer more. I’m very happy with my volunteering life right now. I’m heavily involved in a cause I care about deeply. I devote quite a bit of my time to it. But I can see how I will be able to do more and step into other causes I care about too in the near future.

Have you thought about how you spend your days to make yourself happier? Try the following:

List 3 or 4 things in this current stage of your life that make you happy.


Is there something in your past that is keeping you stuck and unhappy?


List 3 or 4 things that you see making you happy in the next 5 -10 years.

I’m looking forward to reading your comments! Thanks for being here!


Relationships

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Day 11’s meditation was all about giving relationships quality time. If we don’t pay attention to our relationships, they devolve. It’s really choice on whether or not we give our relationships the attention they deserve. I had two issues here. One, I neglected all my relationships (except with my mother and children) during the time I out of commission. I didn’t see any of my friends during this time. For one, I couldn’t do anything. And I just didn’t want to talk about how awful I felt. I just wanted to feel normal. And my relationship with my husband was strained to say the least. He took on all the driving duties for our kids at this time. My son was about a year away from learning to drive and when he did that eased up the responsibilities some. I couldn’t even do the dishes or any housework whatsoever. He did what he could, but he was very busy at work as well. My mom helped out, I ordered my groceries online and did what I could. My life had come to a halt. That is going to strain any relationship. He was feeling the stress of “why aren’t you getting better” too.

The second issue, and one I will cover much more in depth later, is that I wasn’t that great at paying attention to my friendships in the first place, before any of this started. I didn’t make it a priority. I let time slide between seeing them. I would say no to invitations for no good reason. And I really don’t know why I did that, but looking back it is most definitely a pattern I see.

I’ve made my friendships a huge priority. I talked about the types of people I’m surrounding myself with on a prior post about finding my tribe, but what happens when you have your tribe? I began to make those people in my life a priority. I make a point to invite friends on lunch or dinner dates. If I see that I don’t have any booked, I started reaching out and getting things on my calendar. I ask myself, who haven’t I seen in a while? Or who do I need to connect with right now?

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I also make sure I’m showing up for friends when needed. I’m quick to offer help now, where to be honest I wasn’t before. I’m not proud of this. It’s just a fact. Now, I’m more giving. And when I am with my friends, I make sure it’s a real conversation and that just comes naturally now because of the people I’ve surrounded myself with. Taking time to talk is so important. Even just a quick text makes a difference.

Are you looking to make your relationships a priority? Try the following:

Make time to meet up with your friends, whether that means lunch, dinner, a movie, a festival, whatever you enjoy! And make sure you have these dates in your calendar to make them a priority!

Check in with your friends often just to see how they are doing or even a quick text to keep connected.

Can’t wait to hear your comments! Thanks for being here!


Time is Your Creation

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The next few days of my Meditation Experience was focused on our beliefs about time and being in the “flow” of life. Being in the flow was NOT something I did. Ever. I was always projecting into the future, good or bad. I wanted to control the future as much as possible. But really, you cannot control the future. I needed to learn how to accept how my life was going. This doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t go after what I want and make changes, it just meant I needed to learn how to be in the flow and not fight it.

I also needed to learn how to be open and aware. Deepak says we should “Renew and refresh with meditation.” And not only meditation, but using our time more creatively in ways that will give us a little boost or refresh. So, I made a little list of ways I would use my time creatively and give myself a little refreshing in small ways.

Dress with more fun in mind
Meditate
Exercise class
Learn to sketch

Dressing with more fun in mind was an easy way to give myself a boost! I have always LOVED clothes. I love shopping my own closet and putting together outfits. But now I wanted to change things up a little. I started wearing more mixed prints, I bought brighter colors, I MIXED brighter colors and bought a pair of leopard print shoes! I started getting a few more compliments, so I kept it up. It’s fun, it’s a happiness boost and it’s easy to do. Win, win, win. Second was meditate. That’s a standard that is always there. Third, exercise class. This wasn’t new either, but it made sense to have it there because it was an extremely refreshening way to use my time. And lastly, learn to sketch. For years I wanted to learn to sketch. Mostly because I wanted to sketch the birds I saw at my feeders, but also just because it sounded fun. I bought a simple sketching instruction book and all the supplies I needed. I was so excited! I’m learning something new and being crafty!! I started off strong, but after a month or so I lost interest. I just didn’t have the passion and wasn’t enjoying it. I decided to let this one go. I still would like to learn how to sketch birds. I think that’s what I really wanted to do after all. Not learn how to sketch everything. What I want to do is very specific. A goal for a future date!

In addition to what I wanted to do with my time, I also wrote one thing I wanted to stop using my time for and that was negative friends. Friends with a negative energy bring me down considerably. I’m so hyper aware of everyone’s energy now. I have done so much work to keep myself in the most positive environment possible that when a negative presence arrives I immediately want to get away. There are people that we’re in my life that I had to let go because of their negativity. I just can’t and don’t want to surround myself with that energy anymore. It’s tougher with family, but I heard a little tip one day that you should create an invisible force field around yourself so none of their energy gets to you. I love that visualization. It’s not easy, but it’s one I can practice all the time. No matter whether I’m at work, with family or at an event. I can’t control others, I can only control my response. I refuse to let someone else’s negativity ruin my state of mind anymore!

Are you in control of your time? Are you using your time to refresh? Try the following:

Make a list of 3 or 4 ways you would like to use your time to give yourself a happiness boost or refresh.

List any ways your time is being taken for non productive or negativity.

Follow through to make those changes in your life!

Can’t wait to hear about what changes you made! Thanks for being here!


Past Hurts

Day 8

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Today goes a little deeper into last week’s thoughts on old regrets. I said that I didn’t tend to do this as much as the other two, and that is true, but when I DID let my brain wander this way, it was not good. Deepak says “Old wounds get a new life when we think of hard times in the past.” I experienced this when thinking of painful traumatic events from my childhood. I had some not so great years growing up. Sometimes these memories creep up at the most unexpected times. When they did I was literally reliving them and I would get nauseous and get an uncomfortable feeling in my body that is hard to describe. This also happened when I would think about the occasions in my teenage years, some very death defying, scary times, and suddenly my body is reacting. It’s an odd feeling if you’ve never experienced it. According to Deepak these experiences can be healed by being in the present moment.

Broken relationships was another area of reliving old hurts the would come back and haunt me occasionally. Something would trigger a memory and suddenly I’m back in that place reliving an old hurt. Sometimes they feel like they just happened even though it happen over 30 years ago!
And of course the old hurt that was the most recent and most devastating was the injury itself. I wrote the following in my notebook:

Drug reaction/physical pain/missed years

There was a lot of sadness and anger in those words. So much time lost with my kids, family and friends. And time lost from doing all the things I loved. I could not, and would not dwell on this old hurt. I know now, I can write about it and tell my story without being there.

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These experiences all had lessons to teach me. In the case of my injuries, I had to learn it twice. If you read My Story, you know that I had TWO episodes that took me out of commission for extended times. It was like I didn’t learn it well enough the first time around so the universe said “let’s try this again!” I got it now, I promise. Because after the first time, I realized it was a half ass recovery really. I was physically a little better, and I learned a little about being appreciative of life, but not the total transformation that happen the second time. There were more lessons to be learned. I can see that now.

I would love to hear your comments! And don’t forgot to subscribe to my blog! Thanks for being here!